How often do I put on a pretty face to the world when I feel dark inside. My artwork today is painting this picture. I am all too often guilty of hiding my true feelings in order to get along with the “world” trying to be someone or something that I think others expect me to be. I have reached a point in my life where I am attempting to create a new reality and a new persona for myself. The irony for me as I explore this idea is that I know deep down inside what that will look like but my surrounding environment will not allow this being to survive. So I am in the process of changing my environment to fit a new self.
I have never been an artist to the world before. I have hidden my creativity within a business environment and denied my “true colors”. Living a life of secret creation and sublime longing. I marry words and numbers in order to birth new ideas rather than stroking my fantasies of color and shape. I live a very solid life of accounting and administration and yet my inner artist is begging to be set free. Finally I am making peace with my own inner ideals and taking a risk that I never saw coming. It is difficult, if not impossible, to allow yourself to be if you don’t know what that might really look like.
Creativity is a breath of magic born on the spirit of impulse. It knows no bounds and can live in almost any environment and yet if it is not given a chance it will die a slow and painful death. Most of us are creative in one way or another and yet many of us can’t see this. There are so many ways to have new ideas and so many more avenues of fatalistic endings. I thought that I was enjoying what I was doing right up until I realized that I wasn’t doing anything that actually made me happy. I lived to make a living and lost myself in the process.
Thank you very much to each and every person who has supported me as an artist. Over the last year I have enjoyed so many supportive comments and enthusiasm from so many people around the world. It has given me the courage to seek a new career for myself and finally envision another reality. I am being given a chance to make a change professionally that I never thought I would get. So thank you also to each and every person who has purchased one of my pictures. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for your support and how much this has changed my life. Have a wonderful day. Namaste 🙂